Let me paint you a picture:
Exciting news! You have just found out you will be starting a new job. You may have been trying to secure this job for years, or it may have landed in your lap rather unexpected.
Either way, don’t panic! You have nine long months to prepare for this new job.
So, prepare, you do!
A new mode of transportation is extremely important. A minimum of 10 hours of online research is required prior to even stepping into the shop to test drive your new wheels.
On transportation, you also decide to upgrade the car – something bigger that can carry the luggage of a small army, which is what you’ll need now for those overnight trips.
The “office”, now, that takes some time, so many colour choices, so many important wall decors. New furniture is a must. Sure, the material additions take some time
But hang on a sec!
Directly before you start this job, there is a labour-intensive marathon to endure. It’s your “induction”, so to speak.
It’s the same marathon women have been running since the beginning of humankind. Sounds straight forward, right? However, you chose to call on the experience of those who have run before you.
Oh, the horror stories!
Your mind is now completely consumed with how you will endure this marathon. The logistics of the new job have now been pushed to the very bottom of your To Do list.
At this point, for many of you to overcome your OBsession with all the OBscure stories you’ve heard about this OBstacle the OBvious answer is to OBtain some professional help.
By now, your nine long months to prepare are almost over. Time is flying as you tie up the loose ends on your previous job – you’re confident you’ll have the time to keep in the loop via email once the marathon is over.
While the intensity of this marathon still engulfs your mind, you decide you better do a little reading up on the ins and outs of this new job
– but hey, really, what’s to learn? They said you were “made to do this”, women having been “easily” and “naturally” stepping into this role forever. And surely its easier than being the CEO of a large company, right?
The big day comes, the marathon begins…and you labour through. Closely watched by many professionals, monitored by many machines and closely supported by your dearest loved ones.
Hopefully, you’ve sailed through unscathed. But possibly you have been left torn and broken, physically and mentally exhausted.
But never mind that. Never mind that you have now been awake for 38 hours straight – your new job begins right NOW, right this moment – no, you cannot have a nap!!!
Oh, the noise… there really is no chance of a nap now anyway. The sound – like an alarm – ringing through your ears and through your entire body. Only a small moment of quiet before it starts again. You decided to get out of that place to get some rest, surely you can do better at home.
Never fear, now you have time and space to learn – surely it’s not a problem that you are averaging three hours sleep each night.
And so, it really begins… your new job.
If you’re lucky, the initial 2 weeks are softened by the presence of your partner by your side helping you learn.
They are caring, yes.
Any more trained, No.
Two weeks pass and there you are… on your couch… alone. The only adult in the house trying to figure out this new job.
The sounds, the alarms, they keep coming… but where is the manual, what do they all mean?
You try and count the hours of sleep you‘ve had in the past two weeks. Luckily you can count it on your fingers – because you brain can’t possibly compute any more…
Food, you think, I need food….
There goes that sound… that alarm… but what does it mean… a long game of trial and error until you find the solution to settle it.
Water, you think, I need water… oh, that Alarm….
And the battle continues, as you pour every single ounce of yourself into this new job. Because despite the challenge, you love her more than anything you have ever loved in your entire life… you would give your life to it… and you do.
You feed her, instead of yourself.
You bath her, instead of yourself.
You nurture her, instead of yourself.
You hold her up above the water… as you slowly drown.
This story does not belong to me; it does not belong to my sister or my best friend.
This story belongs to far too many women bringing babies into our society today.
A society that does NOT prioritise post-partum care.
A society that suggests women should simply know how to be a mother.
A society that heroes the lone battler and belittles the one who asks for help.
A society that expects us to do it all, have it all, be it all.
A society that assumes she will thrive, while she is caged in the isolation of her modern home.
A society that has forgotten that it takes a village to support a newborn mother!
After I personally witnessed the fall of some of the many new mums around me. I strived to help them out more and to be there for them. However, I had a family who needed my time and a job that needed my attendance and bills that needed to be paid.
Until I found my life’s work as a Postpartum Doula.
If your mother, your sisters and your aunties have their own families to care for, jobs that need doing and bills to pay, then I can be there for you. I can be part of the village that will support you following the birth of your baby.
In today’s modern society, this is the role of a postpartum doula – nurture and nourishment for newborn mums. If you would like to know more about the support a postpartum doula can offer you and your friends have a look through my website or follow me on Facebook.